Why I Had This Question
As I live my life as a Christian, there are moments when I find myself wondering:
“Am I truly a Christian?”
“Have I really changed at all from who I used to be?”
“Do I need to work harder to become a ‘better Christian’?”
However, I have come to feel that there is a certain limit—an impossibility—in trying to change myself by my own strength. This is because we are all born with a sinful nature, and even after becoming a Christian, that nature does not simply disappear.
The Christian view of humanity is rooted in the understanding that we are inherently sinful beings. I know that I cannot live a 100% pure life on my own. Even when I want to distance myself from sin, I find it difficult to break free. Even when I pray to God about it, I sometimes feel like I am stuck in a cycle of seeing my unchanged self over and over again. This leads me to doubt whether I am truly walking the path God desires for me.
Reflecting on God’s Word
To find out what the Bible says about living a life apart from sin and living purely, I looked to the Scriptures.
Philippians 2:13 (New King James Version / New Revised Standard Version)
“For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.”
What is written here is that God works “in you.” This means it is not something that comes from the outside, but a work that happens within us.
I understood this to mean that God is the one who gives us the spontaneous desire to change. The very feeling of “I want to change” or “I should change” is a will that God has placed in my heart.
Furthermore, it says He enables us “to do” or “to act.” I believe this means God helps us to accomplish the things we cannot do by our own strength.
My Journey
Looking back on my life, it has been 11 years since I became a Christian, and I still face various struggles. However, when I look closely at these problems, I feel that I am steadily changing.
Specifically, I find that the sins I used to enjoy are no longer as “fun” as they once were. When I consider the consequences and the end results of sin, I am able to think more clearly and calmly.
In my case, the change does not seem very fast. Yet, I feel I am being changed slowly but surely. I believe God’s hand is behind this growth.
If we compare ourselves to others or even to who we were just a few months ago, we might feel discouraged. But if we look at a larger timeline, I believe we are certainly being transformed. If I had tried to do this all by myself, it would have been a source of immense stress.
Conclusion
Even if we don’t become our “ideal selves” immediately, the very fact that we have a heart that desires to change is proof of God’s work within us.
From now on, instead of relying on my own strength, I want to continue walking forward by trusting in the God who is at work within me.
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