How to Break the Negative Loop
Many people enthusiastically start something meaningful, only to quit before seeing any results. I believe almost everyone can relate to this.
Every year we say, “This time will be different.”
We start studying something new or building a new habit, but when visible results don’t appear, we quietly stop. I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened to me.
If it’s just a hobby, we can shrug it off and say, “Maybe next time.”
But when it’s something important—entrance exams, work, or our future—we often end up thinking, “I’m weak-willed,” and feel deep guilt. I get the impression that people who are serious or perfectionistic suffer from this even more.
I’ve failed many times.
At the same time, there are a few good habits that I’ve managed to keep for years. Why do some habits stick while others end after nothing more than “planting seeds”? Based on my own experience, I want to share how to break this negative loop.
The Brain’s Whisper: “This Is a Waste of Time”
Even when we’re trying our best, a thought eventually appears:
“There are still no results. Isn’t this just a waste of time?”
At that moment, our brain starts creating convincing excuses to quit. Once we accept them, our effort ends there.
This isn’t about weak willpower. It’s how the human brain works. In other words, this isn’t your problem—it’s a problem all humans face.
I mentioned this in another article, but statistics say that less than 5% of people who join a gym are still going one year later. Most people quit simply because they don’t see results.
Three Things That Actually Helped Me
So how can we escape this cycle?
Here are three simple but effective strategies that worked for me after a lot of trial and error.
1. Set Your Daily Goal Lower Than You Think You Should
When we start studying or building a habit, motivation is usually high.
We tell ourselves, “I’ll study three hours every day,” or “I’ll go all in.” I’ve done this countless times.
The real problem begins the moment we fail to meet that goal even once.
- We feel disappointed in ourselves
- We think we need to “make up” for the missed day
- The mental burden becomes so heavy that motivation collapses
After just one break, restarting requires an unreasonable amount of energy.
That’s why I now set goals so small that I’m almost embarrassed by them.
Ten minutes of studying. Going to the gym and doing something light. That’s enough.
If it feels easy, you can always increase it later. Starting small is not weakness—it’s strategy.
2. Stop Checking Results Every Day
Take strength training as an example.
After working out, you might feel the urge to look in the mirror and ask, “Did my body change?”
But reality is harsh. Bodies don’t change in a day or two. They change slowly, over months or even years.
If you chase results every single time, you’ll start thinking:
- “Nothing is changing.”
- “This is pointless.”
And without realizing it, you give yourself permission to quit.
What helped me was shifting my focus.
Instead of being satisfied with results, I learned to be satisfied with the action itself.
“I went to the gym today.”
“I sat at my desk and studied.”
That alone is enough. Changing what you measure makes everything easier.
3. Start Small, and One Day It Will Feel Wrong Not to Do It
Here’s a concrete example from my own life.
For health reasons, I walk one hour every day (about 10,000 steps). I’ve been doing this for over five years now. But in the beginning, this habit failed many times. I would decide to walk every day, keep it up for a short while, and then quit—over and over again.
So I changed my approach.
I decided:
“Even five minutes is fine. Just walk.”
No distance goals. No pressure.
Just go outside and walk a little.
Something interesting happened.
Five minutes became ten. Ten became twenty. Before I knew it, walking for an hour felt completely normal.
Now, if I don’t walk for an hour, I actually feel uncomfortable.
What this taught me is that habits are not built on motivation or discipline alone.
They are built through design.
4. Use the “3–3–3 Rule” as a Guide
One framework I often rely on is the 3–3–3 Rule for habit formation:
- 3 days: The phase where your body strongly resists (the “three-day slump”)
- 3 weeks (21 days): The behavior starts to take shape
- 3 months: It feels strange not to do it—the habit is established
Thinking, “I’ll do this forever,” is overwhelming.
Instead:
- First, aim for three days
- Then three weeks
- Then three months
Breaking it into clear, manageable stages makes all the difference.
Of course, some self-control is necessary—but that’s exactly why daily goals should be easy to achieve.
Final Thoughts
People who quit before seeing results aren’t incompetent or weak.
They’re simply fighting against how the human brain works.
The seed-planting phase is lonely and unrewarding. But only those who endure it ever get to see the moment when something finally starts to grow.
If you’re discouraged because you “quit again,” try lowering your goals, checking results less often, and just aim for three days first.
I want to continue building better habits myself as well—without rushing results, focusing on small actions I can take today.
That alone can change everything.
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